Jaydes Entry 1-7 Combined

I'm just going to swear cuz they sometimes make me better. Don't just to see you again. So I'm tired of writing letters to you. Can't express myself. I always choke on my own words. Can't explain what's going on. All I know is that it hurts. I can't do this no more without you. What do you want my love to do to you? Regret all that getting attached. I [ __ ] it up and now I got to pay. That's the only thing I wanted. I completely lost my faith. Myself I can't keep safe. You know it's all my fault because you didn't have a say in it. I [ __ ] everything up but I'm just so tired of saying it. If you were here you'd be disappointed but I can't sing to no one else. And I swear I'm just so tired that I might just kill myself. Evils are to blame thoughts of you in my head. Swear no one understands. There's only one I will listen and now you see the cause and effects in my skin. Yeah, it really sucks feeling like this all the time. You were saying this is a phase. You were saying that I know it all do you? Can't read the expression on my face. My brain cells tell me that it's okay. My wrist tells me it's all my fault. Like come on guys I'm addicted egotistical. I already know it. I don't know I don't know. I just want to fade away. Sometimes I feel like this life is a game I don't want to play.